Morning. What they're asking for and what they need aren't the same thing. Only one of them has been said out loud.
Negotiation.
The Interest Map
Behind the sentence the other side keeps repeating sit four or five things they actually need, and only one of them is money: could you name the other three without guessing? Probably not, and it isn't inattention — nobody has told you, because nobody has asked them.
Mary Parker Follett was a Boston social worker and political philosopher who arrived at management from community organising, and in January 1925 she gave a paper called 'Constructive Conflict' to the Bureau of Personnel Administration in New York. Conflict isn't a pathology, she argued; difference is simply there, and the only question is what you do with it. She named three responses. Domination, in which one side wins, cheap now and expensive later. Compromise, in which each side gives something up and nobody is satisfied, so the issue comes back. And integration, in which a solution is found that meets both desires with neither side sacrificing anything. Her illustration has never been bettered, and she was one of the two people in it. In the Harvard Library, someone wanted the window open and Follett wanted it shut. She didn't want a closed room, only to keep the wind off her; he didn't want that particular window, only more air. They opened the window in the next room, where nobody was sitting. Fisher and Ury, whose work you met on Day 1, restated the point fifty-six years later as positions and interests. The error both are describing is the same one: arguing with the sentence instead of the need that produced it.
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